"You can't just kill people and be pretty. It's confusing"
REVIEW
Would I read this again? Yes No Maybe
Spicy Level Legend How spicy is this book?
SUMMARY
This book is funny. Really funny. The things that Evie says, the looks that Trystan gives her. Blade’s entire character. Its a good time. I cannot possibly convey the humor in a recap so I’m simply going to give the plot points and say - if you haven’t read it - READ it. If you’ve read it but forgotten it before book 3 comes out - go read it again!
MAIN CHARACTERS
Kingsley - a little frog that Trystan has. He wears a little crown and holds up little signs like “trouble” “Bad” to communicate. Trystan says at one point that its been ten years since Kingsley has been a frog. He was once a “king and noble human prince”.
Lyssa - Evie’s 10 year old sister.
Gideon - Evie’s brother who was (accidentally?) killed by their mom when Lyssa was just a baby. She left Lyssa and Evie in a field and disappeared.
Griffin - Evie’s dad.
Otto Warsen - Evie’s former employer, a blacksmith. Made unwanted sexual advances to Evie, she fought him, he cut her with a magic dagger.
Tatianna - Healer who works for Trystan. They have known each other their whole lives. She used to be romantically involved with Claire.
Becky Erring - Another employee of Trystan’s. Her and Evie hate each other but then they come to understand each other because they both have a family member with the Mystic Illness. They still dislike each other but learn to get along.
King Benedict - The King that Trystan is trying to take down.
Blade Gushiken - Shows up at Trystan’s manor with a dragon egg. Says he knows how to raise a dragon. Trystan lets him live there. Really funny character.
Arthur Maverine - Trystan's father. Is a core healer.
Malcolm Maverine - Trystan’s younger brother, owns a tavern, and makes bombs. Made the bomb that was intended to kill Trystan but didn’t know it was for him.
Clare Maverine - Trystan’s younger sister, her magic is with ink.
Fluffy - Blade’s dragon
Guvre - Deadly beast that breathes venom that can melt anything and everything it touches. Serpent body, batlike wings.
Evie - village girl who meets Trystan while wandering through the woods while she was out looking for a job. She is the only source of income for her family. Her dad has the Mystic Illness and her sister is only 10. Her mom has disappeared after her magic got out of control and killed Evie’s older brother. Evie has recently lost her job after her boss, Warsen, made an unwanted sexual advance at her. She fought back and he cut her shoulder with a dagger that was infused with magic. She says whatever pops into her head, chick has no filter.
She starts working for Trystan as his assistant. She has no idea why he is torturing and murdering people. She just knows that her, and the rest of his employees (which for an evil overload, he has a lot), are helping him sabotage the King.
Trystan - The Villain. Ten years ago he started working with the King as an apprentice. He did everything the King asked him to do. One day, the King told him that his magic was too wild and couldn’t be tamed and he was a threat to the kingdom so he locked him in a dungeon. He was trapped for a month before his magic finally woke up, he killed every guard in his way, and escaped. That was the day that he decided since the King wanted to make him a villain, he’d be The Villain. He spends his time targeting the King’s trade lines, stealing anything and everything he can. But there’s a mole in his operation - someone is telling the King every move he is going to make and his sabotages get sabotaged.
One day Evie hears a bomb in Trystan’s office so she takes it and tries to throw it away from the manor, off a cliff. She almost dies in the process but Trystan covers her body with his. He takes her home and meets her sister. This is when Evie realizes The Villain’s name is Trystan Meverine.
Evie spends the rest of the book trying to figure out who the mole is. Along the way she meets his brother, Malcolm, and his sister, Claire, and his dad, Arthur.
Trystan also keeps busy, successfully capturing a male guvre. When Evie asks him why he is risking his life to capture such a vicious animal, he explains that the mating bond between these animals is very strong. When the female feels her mate is in trouble, she will do whatever she can to get to him. And where is this female? Oh, King Benedict has her captured. Evie questions how she is going to get to the male when she is also captured and Trystan tells her that the female mate will literally break out of bonds to save the male. 24ish hours after he captures it, the female shows up. Trystan lures her into the cage next to (although it doesn’t take him long to combine the cages and let them be together) the male.
Evie, Blade, and Becky get a letter from someone unknown inviting them to a party where they could meet a core healer, and possibly see about a cure for the Mystic Illness. They all 3 go, without telling Trystan. This is where Evie meets his dad, Arthur. Trystan shows up. Evie and him have a cute moment where they dance. Then chaos breaks out.
The King’s guards have shown up along with a guvre. Lots of people die, Arthur gets injured. Blade manages to capture the guvre with the help of Claire. The King’s guards round everyone up but swear they are there to harm anyone, only to capture The Villain and the guvre. Remember - no one knows that Trystan and The Villain are the same.
Trystan ends up getting knocked out. Evie comes up with a plan to get the guards to let them go. They are married and then just attempts to say lots of things that will make men uncomfortable. She cries, talks about having a baby, talks about how she just started her period and she doesn’t have anything, and she’s wearing white. It makes all the guards really uncomfortable. They agree to let them all go, if she will just stop talking basically. Trystan starts to wake up and Evie knows that if he does, he will just go into a murderous rage and that will ruin her whole plan so as soon as his eyes open, she grabs him and kisses him.
He thinks he’s dreaming. And he figures, well as long as I’m dreaming, let's enjoy this. Evie thinks that he heard the plan so she’s all disappointed that he is just pretending. This is when Trystan admits to himself that he is in love with her.
The guards say they will take Arthur to a healer and Becky goes with him. Then they insist that Trystan sees a healer so they lead Evie and him away. Then they attack him, again. He gets real mad when the guard threatens Evie, he knocks one guard unconscious and kills the other for even having the audacity to think he was going to hurt her. Evie, doesn’t seem fazed by the fact that he just murdered someone in front of her, just hugs him and says thank you.
He found out from the guard (before he killed him) that they were told to get the Villain and they think it's Arthur so they have him. Evie heads home while Becky, Blade, Claire, and Trystan take the guvre back to his manor.
The next day, Tati and Claire are trying to help Evie with her magic wound. The dagger Warsen had cut her with had some type of rare binding magic. Claire tells her the blade basically steals a piece of your essence when it absorbs your blood. And warriors use blades like that in battle because its like an extension of oneself. As long as you can be near it without being in pain. Trystan thinks she is being tortured and breaks into the room to “save” her. She wants to keep going because she wants to be able to use the dagger and not be in pain from it.
Blade comes in and says he needs some assistance because the guvres are getting it on and he’s a little afraid they are going to break down the manor.
Claire’s magic has to do with ink - ink for tattoos and ink for writing. She tells them that different color ink can do different things. For example, green is what Trystan uses on his guards. If they betray him, then the green leaks into their skin like a poison and kills them. If you have a bottle of blue ink, and use it to write a letter, you can then get some more ink from that bottle, and hold your pen to a piece of paper and it will copy what was previously written. And if you have gold, that helps the wearers know when the other is in danger. Trystan uses green ink with his guards and was going to use that with Evie, but at the last second, changed it to gold. Evie doesn’t know what gold ink means/does.
Malcolm had said the guy who bought the bomb off of him, had glowing blue ink on his hands. Claire had said she sold ink to a Royal Guard. Claire says she wishes she remembers more about the guard but she was distracted by a client - East Marigold - who also wanted some blue ink but was telling her a sob story about his wife. Evie goes real still because she knows that name. That’s the name of a character her dad made up and told them stories about.
Tati gives her a new type of pain potion for her dad’s illness and Evie also pockets a sedative.
She goes home and gives her dad a potion, telling him it's the new pain potion.
She then confronts him (in a roundabout way). She finds a letter from her mom begging her dad to let her see the girls saying she is so sorry about what happened. She also finds copies of her work journal. Where she wrote everything. If anyone got a hold of the journal, they’d know everything about Trystan’s operation and how to ruin it. And that’s exactly what her dad has.Her dad tells her everything - he was never sick. The healer was paid to lie and say he had the Mystic Illness. He was never just a butcher, he has been a member of the King’s guard this entire time. He made an agreement with Warsen - he would pay her dad for a couple nights of alone time with Evie. Then had the nerve to be mad at her that she refused him.
He bought her the special ink so that he could spy on her and the Villain and relayed all the info to the King. He planted the bomb that almost killed her. He gave her the note leading to the party where she almost died. And he doesn’t feel bad about anything, he’s just mad at her.
Finally, the sedative kicks in, and he goes night-night. Just in time for Trystan to show up.
Trystan had been at the manor when they found out the guard, who had bought ink from Claire, died before the bomb was even planted in his office so it can't have been him. Claire then says that the client who gave the fake name had told him his real name last time because he had been drunk and it was Griffin Sage. Trystan and Tati immediately head for Evie’s house because he is scared her dad will kill her.
Trystan has Tati take Lissa back to the manor and has his guards take Griffin to a cell.
He then tells Evie all about his time with the King, and his imprisonment. She asks why the King wants the mated gurves. The King believes that the venom of a baby would be a cure-all. She will be staying at the manor now with Lissa, and when they get there, he tells her they will be staying in the west side…where he lives. She remembers she forgot her notebook at her house and she wants to go back for it. He says ok we will go back but lets walk instead of the horses.
Then Trystan is attacked from behind. And now guess who finally shows his face - the King.
The King and his guards are there. One of the knights backhands Evie and Trystan starts to fight against them. The King tells his guards to stop abusing the woman. He is going to take Trystan and he has special plans for Evie. Then Warsen shows up and wraps his arms around her. Trystan goes batshit and ends up begging Benedict to let her go. He will do whatever he wants, willingly, if he just lets Evie go. Benedict is shocked to see real emotion from Trystan and he agrees that he won’t do this…he won’t make him watch anyways. And the knights administer a sedative and he goes out.
Benedict tells Warsen to go ahead and do whatever he wants and then kill Evie but he needs her body. The King and all but two of his guards leave. Evie fights Warsen but he pins her to the ground and starts choking her. Somehow in their struggle, her bag is close to her, and the magic dagger is inside of it. She manages to grab it and slits Warsen’s throat. The knights are like uhhhh…one of them comes at her but the other stabs him from behind. He then looks at Evie and takes off running away.
Evie heads back to the manor and hangs Warsen’s head from the rafters. Becky is upset that Trystan is really gone but Evie says she has a plan. Becky’s like ok what are you thinking? Evie says “Well first - I’m going to need you to kill me.” and Becky’s like hell yeah I’ve been waiting.
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